Tuesday, February 4

A Date with my BFF

Girls night out.  Ladies night.  Out with girls.  Those are seemingly normal things that us ladies do fairly regularly, right?  Honestly, nothing beats it and guys wouldn't understand it.  We act like lame ass losers, say dorky jokes, talk about clothes, guys, and 'those' girls all the while venting and bragging about everything else in our lives.  Catching up over drinks or breakfast or in someone's kitchen is a favourite pastime.  Getting ready together becomes a ritual and bathroom selfies are a must.  We get away with pointing out when one of our girls looks like Charlize Theron in Monster, with no hard feelings.  We tell each other our dirty little secrets and expect Buddha like advice at the drop of a hat.  Two girls can go shopping, bowling, for a walk, on vacation, or for dinner together at any time and nobody bats an eye.
That all said, I could not believe the reaction I received after bringing my best friend as my date to a wedding.  This was not the first time we had gone as each other's date and probably won't be the last.  There were countless jokes and comments made by a number of people, but this conversation stuck out in particular (this person's words are their own, not mine):


Person: So who did you come with today?
Me: Oh I brought my BFF, she's just over there!
... A girl?
Yup!
Like a girlfriend.
... Yes?
Like a girl is your date.
Yes, she's right there. She's my best friend, I can introduce you two.
...but you brought her as a date.
Yes.
Like a date-date?
I don't know?
As in you're dating.
As in we are dating-dating?
Well you brought a girl.
Are you trying to suggest I'm a lesbian?
You're here with a girl. Date. Your date is a girl. 
Yes, my best friend.
As a date though.
She is more fun than boys.
So you're lesbians.
No.
But she's your date?
I said that.  Why do you think its so weird?
It's not weird; you're just on a date.
With my friend.
So you're like dykes.
Pardon?
Like lezbos.

** Anyone who knows me can probably picture the look I had on my face at this point.

Aaand then I faked having to pee and walked away.  Although, that social cue was not noted, and once I returned it was imperative that I clarify whether or not we were sharing a hotel room and how many beds we had requested.

Could you be more inappropriate?  And why is sexual orientation so important, anyway?  If I were a lesbian and you called me those names I would have punched you in the face.  I should have punched you in the face.  I understand why older generations struggle with homophobia, they were raised in a time when people were killed if they were gay; and it takes time to undo that kind of extreme influence.  I just did not realize that homophobia is still so predominant within younger generations today.  It is the struggle to spread awareness to ignorance like this that makes me so happy to be getting a degree in humanities.

I don't even like the word homophobia (hello perfect quote, Morgan).  A phobia is defined as a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.  FEAR.  You are afraid of person based on who they are sexually drawn to.  That is not a fear, that is pathetic.

As years have passed, we have learned that certain words have massively heavy meaning behind them.  I don't think a single one of my friends uses the 'N' word, and nobody questions it.  The word faggot was first used 100 years ago, in this connotation, "all the fagots (sissies) will be dressed in drag at the ball tonight."  You cannot read that today and tell me you agree.  The problem is that people still use words like dyke and faggot as if they have no meaning.  Those are the people who have yet to catch up with society.  As long as people continue to use those pejorative words, thereby maintaining contempt with this inequality among people and teaching others that it is still OK to speak about members of the LGBT community with this negativity, the hate and discomfort will continue.

-----

It took me a couple of days to write this post, and during that time 4 of my Facebook friends used the term Fag in their statuses.

People are becoming so concerned with fostering heterosexuality in children that they discourage little boys from playing dress up or painting their nails, stating "it'll make him gay."  Girls aren't given G.I Joes or toy trucks as gifts, as those might "make them butch," regardless that those toys are given the exact same attention as a Barbie or a pink car.

I think I read less than 10 of these before I actually started gagging and had to stop.
100 tweets from people threatening to kill their child if they're born gay.

Random fact: 20% of ALL hate crimes in the USA in 2010 were due to sexuality.  That is so unbelievably asinine I can't even put my thoughts into a decent argument to continue on with it.  It blows me away thinking that there are people that feel so entitled in this world that they have the right to inflict pain on others because of their sexuality.

1 comment:

Lesley said...

Love that quote.

Lauren Kent

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