This is one post I have been thinking of writing for a while but have put off. I may share a lot about my personal life, but I have always made a conscious effort not to air my dirty laundry over the internet, and those who commonly do drive me just the littlest bit crazy. I will say this and then I'll drop it, and I won't mention it again...
This is to the person who asked me where my wedding ring was, to the person who rolled their eyes at me instead of offering a congratulations, and to who asked if I knew who the father was. This is to the person who asked how I got pregnant, which forms of birth control I used, and who forgot that abstinence is the only protection that is 100% effective. This is to the person who told me not to worry as everyone makes mistakes, to the person who suddenly wanted to know details about my dating life after a year of not speaking, and the person who responded to my announcement by saying, "that sucks."
How dare you judge me.
A family is not defined by a mother, father, and two biological children. Families can have one parent, no parents, step parents, or grand parents. Families can have two mommies and no daddies and vice-versa.
Heterosexual couples raise amazing children, just as much as homosexual couples who raise amazing children, just as much as single parents who raise amazing children, just as much as adoptive parents who raise amazing children, just as much as parents with shared custody raise amazing children, etc, etc, etc.
Had I been married, would you have asked if I was on the pill? Had I adopted, would you have asked about my finances? Had I gone through in vitro, would you have given me a lecture on how difficult parenting is? Let's not forget that a married couple does not automatically mean happiness; not everyone who is single is lonely and not everyone who is taken is in love. A marriage with a planned pregnancy is not a one way ticket to perfect children.
People get pregnant and it isn't always a scheduled part of their day. A baby is a miracle. There is a tiny human inside of me, and no matter how or when it came about, that in itself is amazing.
This is to the person who congratulated me, expressed excitement for me, and asked how the baby and I were doing, to the person who gave me a hug and meant it, to the person who told me I'd be a milf. This is to the person who rushed to pick out onesies, the person who said they had always pictured me as a mother, the person who wanted to be involved and offer their assistance, and the person who said they cannot wait to read my blogs about it. This is to the person who immediately wanted to discuss baby names, to decorate my spare room, and spend the summer at garage sales looking for items I needed.
- Thank you.
"I was born to be stubborn, to be a little bit bitchy, to push people, to push myself. I was taught never to take life for granted, to live a little, to love with everything I had, to never give up, to believe in myself, but most of all to fight for myself."
4 comments:
Good for you Lauren! How dare people. Yuck! Keep up the good fight, you've got lots of people in your corner :)
xo
Leslie & Sean
Amazing words bff xo
Once again, very well said Lauren. Love you and hope all is well. Your favourite AUNT!
I didn't have much of a chance to get to know you through school, but one thing was always clear to me - and that is your strength. Reading this, I was completely blown away and inspired by the conviction and power that you have in your own life - it's beautiful. It's unfortunate that so many are so quick to make judgments or feel superior but you're clearly going to be raising an independent young one with a clear sense of who they are and what they want out of life.
I didn't know about your pregnancy until but congratulations! I'm sure it'll be a wonderful (albeit it challenging at times) adventure. I can see you making a great mum.
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